I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize