he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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