I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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