I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
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