eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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