Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize