He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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