If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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