I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
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I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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