I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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