When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize