I want to make a zoo with you.
I faked an abortion last night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize