:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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