I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize