i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize