I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
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i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
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Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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