Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
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Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
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well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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