dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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