The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize