youre lurking in front of me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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