One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize