I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize