apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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