I can text with my tongue
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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