sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
pop tarts are not kleenex
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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