Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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