I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize