I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize