got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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