if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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