Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize