Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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