just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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