Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
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There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
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i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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