JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wish you could order shots online.
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i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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