i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
soo... how was my night?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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