In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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