and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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