I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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