Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize