My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
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i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
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I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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