I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize