Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize