Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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