Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
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Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
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We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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