Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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