So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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