I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize