I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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