we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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